The Five Life Experiences That Shaped Me as a Coach

Life coach jilly - Melbourne Australia.

(And Why They Matter If You’re Standing at the Edge of Change)

When people look for a life coach — especially during a big life transition — they’re not just looking for qualifications.

They’re looking for steadiness.
For someone who understands risk.
For someone who has walked through uncertainty and come out grounded.

My coaching is not built on theory alone, though I am absolutely credentialed by the International Coaching Federation.

It’s shaped by lived experience — navigating career change, financial pressure, cultural reinvention, identity shifts, and creative reclamation.

If you’re facing change — a move, a reinvention, a career pivot, burnout, relocation, or simply a quiet sense that your life no longer fits — these experiences may resonate.

And more importantly, they may show you that change doesn’t require panic.

It requires self-trust.

Me (Life coach jilly) sitting on a park bench in Montreal (Mount Royal) Canada. Photo Credit Yoga Brian Purnell @brianstorm

1. Leaving Stability to Follow Alignment

For five years, I worked in a stable corporate role.

On paper, it looked secure.
Successful.
Responsible.

But internally, something felt increasingly misaligned.

Leaving meant confronting very real fears:

• Financial uncertainty

• Identity loss

• “What will people think?”

• Letting go of a version of success that once felt important

This wasn’t an impulsive decision. It was considered, slow, and uncomfortable.

What I learned was this:

Safety and self-worth often become entangled.

We tell ourselves:
“If I leave, I’m irresponsible.”
“If I change, step side ways or backwards, I’m failing.”
“If I want more, I’m ungrateful.”

But sometimes the greater risk is staying.

This experience now allows me to support clients navigating:

• Career change

• Corporate burnout

• Purpose realignment

• Major life pivots

• Reinvention after success

• Stepping into creativity

• Starting their own business

Not from inspiration alone — but from lived risk literacy.

2. Paying Off Debt and Redefining My Relationship with Money

There was a period of my life where I carried significant consumer and education debt - around $25K. I wondered who I would at $0, or even the other side of that debt in savings like $25K. I decided when travelling overseas to sell my car and just pay off the debt, and I realised once I made that transfer, that I wasn’t a ‘better person’ by any means, I was just a less stressed person, and I really love that free feeling.

Paying it off wasn’t just a financial milestone — it was psychological.

At the time, holding onto money felt safer than releasing it.
Even when releasing it meant freedom.

What I discovered was that money fear quietly shapes decision-making:

• Staying in jobs too long

• Avoiding opportunities

• Undervaluing skills

• Saying no to growth

Money is rarely just numbers.
It’s identity.
Security.
Control.
Fear.
Power.

This experience gave me embodied understanding of:

• Financial anxiety

• Risk tolerance

• Scarcity mindset

• Decision-making under pressure

Many of my clients are navigating:

• Career transitions

• Relocation

• Divorce

• Business launches

• Midlife reinvention

And money anxiety is almost always present beneath the surface.

Because I’ve navigated it personally, I hold those conversations calmly — without shame or urgency.

3. Living and Working Overseas and Travelling Across 11 Countries

I’ve lived and worked internationally — including in Morocco, Switzerland, and Canada — and travelled for fun across 11 countries in total.

Repeatedly becoming “new” does something to your identity.

You lose:

• Familiar status

• Language fluency

• Cultural cues

• Social anchors

You gain:

• Adaptability

• Perspective

• Cultural humility

• Self-trust

Living abroad taught me how destabilising transition can be — especially for expats and professionals relocating for work.

It also taught me that identity is more flexible than we think.

Navigating:

• Cultural power dynamics

• Gender inequality

• Professional reinvention

• Language barriers

• Loneliness in unfamiliar cities

Deepened my ability to support clients through:

• Relocation

• Expat adjustment

• Identity shifts

• Starting over in a new city

• Reinvention after loss

Repeatedly becoming “the outsider” built emotional resilience — and compassion.

It also mirrors the early stages of Martha Beck’s Change Cycle — particularly the “Death & Rebirth” stage, where old identities dissolve before new ones stabilise.

I know what it feels like to not know who you are in a new environment.

And I know how to rebuild from there.

4. Choosing Courage Without Guarantees

Not all transformation comes through structured change.

Some comes through instinct.

Over the years, I’ve said yes to experiences without full information:

• Crossing continents to USA after buying a festival ticket

• Going on a two year Working Holiday in Canada, and then also finding work in Switzerland and Morocco where I learnt to surf and ski.

• Performing stand-up comedy in a foreign country

• Running a marathon

• Travelling to 11 countries, mostly solo

• Walking the Camino de Santiago alone.

• Leaving a good long term relationship that was not sustainable for the future.

These weren’t reckless.
They were intentional stretches.

And what I learned was this:

Clarity often follows action — not the other way around.

Many people wait for certainty before moving.
But certainty rarely arrives first.

What builds confidence is evidence.

Taking the step.
Surviving it.
Learning from it.

This is central to how I coach.

When clients feel paralysed at the edge of change, we don’t force leaps.

We create safe experiments. Successful experiments, create evidence and build up that courage muscles to make bigger change.

Movement reduces anxiety. Action builds you a new identity.

Two dice thrown in - what if you lived life with the throw of the die? We only have one wild and precious life, don’t gamble it away- but definitely don’t shy away from playing with possibilities.

5. Reclaiming Creativity as a Way of Knowing Myself

For years, I encouraged creativity in others.

But I sidelined my own.

Returning to music, movement, art, and creative expression wasn’t about performance.

It was about reconnection.

Creativity is not a hobby.
It’s a form of self expression and authenticity.

When we disconnect from creativity, we often disconnect from intuition.

Reclaiming creativity reshaped:

• How I make decisions

• How I process emotion

• How I experience self-trust

• How I define success

Many high-achieving professionals feel disconnected from their inner voice.

They are competent.
Capable.
Successful.

But not fully expressed.

This experience allows me to support:

• Creatives who feel blocked

• Professionals craving reinvention

• People at midlife questioning identity

• Individuals rediscovering joy after burnout

Because I understand what it feels like to quietly lose yourself — and consciously return.

An artists studio - how does this make you feel when you see stacked up paint brushed and art?

What These Experiences Mean for My Clients

These five experiences share a theme:

Standing at the edge of change without guarantees.

If you’re here, you may be:

• Considering leaving a job

• Relocating to a new city

• Questioning a long-term relationship

• Paying off debt and rebuilding financially

• Navigating expat life

• Recovering from burnout

• Reclaiming creativity

• Reinventing your identity in midlife

• Changing careers

• Starting your own business

Change doesn’t require bravado.

It requires:

• Emotional regulation

• Clear thinking

• Risk literacy

• Self-compassion

• Support

And most importantly — self-trust.

Where Are You in Your Own Change Cycle?

According to Martha Beck’s framework, change moves through stages:

• Disorientation

• Possibility

• Effortful rebuilding

• Integration

Most people assume discomfort means they’re failing.

In reality, it often means they’re transforming.

The question isn’t:
“Why is this so hard?”

The question is:
“Where am I in the process?”

When you understand your stage, you reduce panic.
When you reduce panic, you make better decisions.

Stay grounded

My coaching is grounded in lived experience — navigating risk, money, identity, reinvention, and creativity — not theory alone.

I work with people who are standing at the edge of change and want to move forward with clarity, safety, and self-trust.

If you’re in transition — career, relocation, reinvention, or identity shift — you don’t need more pressure.

You need steadiness.

You need perspective.

You need someone who understands both the fear and the possibility.

Ready to Move Forward Without Panic?

If this resonates, I invite you to explore what working together could look like.

Visit lifecoachjilly.com or make a query to schedule an introduction coaching conversation and discover:

• Where you are in your transition

• What’s keeping you stuck

• What your next grounded step might be

Change doesn’t have to feel chaotic.

It can feel conscious.

And it can feel like you.

Me in Canada on a gorgeous hike in the mountains with glacial lakes.